"Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women." ~ (unattributed)
the past was fucked up
the present ain’t too much better
"Hey Harold, I made this cool vest, I think it’ll fit you!"
"Oh neat! *puts on vest* how’s it look?"
"That looks fantastic! Go stand by the hedges, I’ll take a picture!"
"Okay! wait, that’s not a camera, that’s a whAT THE FU—"
"Hey Harold. Hey, Harold? You okay, buddy?"
"HEY JOHNNY, YOU OWE ME A FIVER"
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Just caSUALLY STICKING MY 2 YEAR OLD CHILD OUT OF A THIRD STOREY WINDOW BECAUSE IT NEEDS SUNLIGHT TO GROW."
"My child is a plant."
Fall Out Boy at Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2013
tried to explain to the seven year old i babysit that being immortal would actually be awful because eventually everyone you know would die and you would be alone and he was like “good”
Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
I’ll say that again.
A guy came up to me
and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
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